ICOLS Launch Event at the Museum of Contemporary Art Sydney

2 - 4 pm Saturday July 13th 2002

Report by Bronia Iwanczak:

2.00: Weather conditions were a beautiful sunny 18 degrees Celsius.

The installation of the various departmental tables looked like a Green Left convention. All tables were well represented by a bevy of pamphlet propaganda. (All except the Department of Future projections- maybe we need to recruit members born in the 1980's) Those departments better represented were Revolutionary Nostalgia and Dislocated Memory.

Other stalls of note included ongoing demonstrations of various conceptual products. Melinda Rackham (Mistress of Virtual Relations) invited the public to construct their own scientific models of virtual relations using red, white and green pickled onions connected with toothpicks. John Tonkin displayed his Nanotechnology Store using hundreds and thousands, with accompanying hundreds and thousands sandwich triangles available for consumption. On sale at various tables were 7" singles (by Ihor Holubizky, Librettist/Composer in the Department of Revolutionary Nostalgia),'Chekeanu' T shirts by Director, Bronia Iwanczak and advance copies of the ICOLS audio cd compilation.

2:20 The Introductory Speech/performance was given by Richard Grayson (Night Manager in the International Department of Local Aesthetics). He relayed the history of the ICOLS experiment of psychic amplification along the pathway of the 666 highway, running from New Mexico up through various sites significant to the development of Worldcom, Enron etc. Conference facilities and the SPAI (Satanic Packaging and Advertising Initiative) were illustrated, and outcomes discussed, as well as an outline of the new Australian project focussing on ABC 666 Canberra and its possible impact on immigration policies. Cultural investors were satisfied with their share profit quota of moral earnings.

2:45 A walk through the ICOLS website by the Directors revealed the extent of original research being generated by the various departments, but the issue of many questions being asked and many being left unanswered has lead to the commissioning of another report from Simon Poulter, Systems Analyst in the department of Global Disenchantment.

3:05 An example of the vast ranging interests and authentic research being generated within ICOLS was demonstrated by the performance of Norie Neumark and Maria Miranda (Rumourologists and Chief Investigators in the Local Unit of Missing Links) who demonstrated the correct technique for usage of the Budinsky and Budoutsky pipettes, one of the most important instruments in rumourology today. An audience member was used to reveal various inaudible rumours circulating in the room at the time. To conclude the demonstration a one litre bottle of 'Spiritual Air of Budapest' was ceremoniously released into the crowd, inducing feelings of peace among the audience.

3:30 Director Suzanne Treister's slide show of individual ICOLS offices revealed the variety of conceptual design strategies of ICOLS members.

3:40 A poetry reading by Pam Brown (Job Share Archivist in the Department of Dislocated Memory) demonstrated her collaborative writing for ICOLS with co archivist Susan Schultz.

4:00 ICOLS was officially launched with a knife wielding ceremony by the Directors lunging into a 13" diameter cake emulating the shape and colour of the ICOLS logo. Other foods included logo coloured (vermillion and grey) ice cream, revealing the correlative flavours of Black Sambuca and watermelon. Jacky Redgate (Culinary photographer in the Department of Missing Links) provided the transcontinental version of Chocolate crackles accompanied by instructions for full preparation.

Last but not least our audience left with the opportunity to win two bottles of red wine bottled personally by the Directors at the ICOLS Vineyard. The ICOLS raffle winners were Rachel Moss and Jasmine Stephens.

Comments received were:

" It's like 21st century Dada"

" I'm confused"

" so am I"

"This feels just like the 70s, I'm having such a great time"

"I don't normally expect to enjoy these kind of events"

" This is sci-fi, wit and Bolshevik reverie of the type I have not experienced since the release of Tarkovsky's Solaris in 1972"

'ICOLS is brilliant, the best thing to come out of Sydney for a decade"

The ICOLS compilation cd was playing in the after performance, and induced pleasurable sensations in everyone.

ICOLS would like to thank the MCA, Sydney for sponsoring this event, in particular the support of Elizabeth Macgregor and Jasmine Stephens.

Pam Brown poetry reading

cake cutting -Suzanne Treister and Bronia Iwanczak

cake consumption - Julie Brown Rrap and Liz Ann Macgregor